Character Diaries: Alvaj - Season 1 - Entry 016
Updated: Jul 24
The Cycle of Yagra, 27th cycle of the Month of the Great Sea, 1932 years after Creation / Friday, 6th of February 6099
I just want to write this here for the record. I. Hate. Reports. I hate sorting through them. I hate reading them. It would be one thing if each report were written in casual English, but no, whoever is doing the ‘transcripts’ from the vocal reports is using a verbose English as possible. I blame the Adjutant. Those AI are great with everything, including vocabulary.
I talked to Sylvia about possibly tuning down the big vocabulary in the reports, but she claims that I’m going to learns this vocabulary by the next year, claiming its Agent slang. Why does agent slang have to be so freaking big words! Such a ‘unungulated’? What does an Ungulate have to do with anything? Isn’t an Ungulate just a hooved animal? Apparently Unungulated means an assassination target is still alive! Who comes up with these things? I know for one I didn’t use these things in the field!
Other examples of apparent Agent Slang:
Vocabulatoring = Some sort of translator malfunction
Motordukenator = Vehicle malfunctions.
Antidisassembly Line = Building a trap.
Wompingwomper = Person in charge
Ticking Chicken = A bomb
Brocolinilatoring = Haven’t eaten anything for over a day.
Chocolatering = Hiding the evidence
Kickinglator = An assassination
Uninsinuationated = Has not been caught
Balcony Beamer = Hiding on the Roof
Earthquake Beamer = Hiding in a Cave
Bacon Beamer = Hiding in a farm
Zombinationator = Target has been replaced
Tookertockerlickerlocker = A troublesome native
Soybean-Salad = I hate my job
The Lion = Main target
The Hunter = Main agent on a multi agent mission
Jomjobulator = Having trouble understanding things
So, do you know what? Jomjobulator and Soybean-Salad! I feel like I’m have a Vocabulatoring! I wish I had a Ticking Chicken so I could make an Antidisassembly Line to Kickinglator the Tookertockerlickerlocker of a Wompingwomper named Sylvia! After that I’d have to work on Chocolatering then probably go be a Bacon Beamer for the rest of my life! Soybean-Salad indeed…
~ Allan Ali / Alvaj son of Scyvaj – Rank A Agent of the EIS
This is a free work based on my book: Avala: Spirits of the Mindscapes - Book 1: Hope. If you enjoyed it feel free to check out the teaser chapter for the book here:
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Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any references to real people, places, or events of the modern time are used in a fictional sense and have no bearing or reality, nor are they meant to detract from the real them in any way. And all characters are the complete creation of the author, any resemblance to real world people is complete coincidence.
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